Wednesday, May 25, 2011

OTT -- off the topic -- Conversations with God

I received good news today at work then took a short bathroom break before returning to a classroom.

While in the bathroom I accidentally started to pray.

It happens. You sit down. Start daydreaming. Suddenly you've direct dialed God.

Now I must spend too much time writing dialogue for my characters...because when I pray, God answers. Is it me? Is it him? Who knows. But since he always has a positive message I'm not seeking medication for the condition.

Anyway, back to the bathroom scene.

So, there I am thanking God for my good fortune while I'm sitting on the toilet and I have a flash of self-awareness.

I said: Oh my God (I think it's ok to say that when you're actually talking to him), I can't talk to you while I'm peeing.

God said: I created you. Peeing is natural. It's not going to shock me.

I said: Yes, but it's rude. I should have never called when on the toilet.

God said: You can talk to your husband while you pee but you can't talk to me?

I said: That's different. I really have to go. I'll thank you later.

God said: So, it's rude to pee while praying to me, but it's ok to put me on hold?

I started laughing....stopped praying....and started hoping no one was in the next stall while I'm laughing while peeing on a public toilet.

I have this funny image of God and the angels talking after my prayer.....

Angels: Was that Ruth again? What did she say?'

God: Oh, you know her. She's just peeing again, thinking of us, and hanging up when she realizes we're really listening.

1 comment:

  1. LOVE this!
    And since the bathroom is one of the only quiet places I ever visit, I do a lot of talking to God there too :)